Doubtful, anxious woman's face with fingers covering eye
Doubtful, Anxious, Hopeless, Hidden

When we are in are in doubt, or doubtful about anything it can feel as though we are bashing our head against a brick wall, going round and round following the same cycles and patterns of behaviour that we have been for years getting angry, annoyed, sad, saying hurtful things to others and to ourselves. Getting generally frustrated with life, family, friends, and the choices we make. Finding ourselves in this circle of doubt. Now I always say ‘when in doubt, do nowt’ now at first you may find that sounds a little twee, but actually there is something so important about stopping, putting those boundaries in place. Saying to yourself ‘actually this is a pattern’ these relationships are playing out the same, these behavioural patterns are the same and actually there is something about stopping and saying no. Allowing yourself to buy some time and space. Emotionally having space to take a breath and say to yourself ‘okay I am going to give myself a minute here, Im going to give myself a boundary. I’m going to say no for a minute.’ What this will do is free up some time. It buys some time to say no to something else. Could be a small or thing or perhaps a larger thing. When you say no to something you put in place that boundary allowing yourself to chose what you like or dislike, what you find acceptable and unacceptable.

This could be something as small as choosing the next book to read, or choosing what you have to dinner. Stating a preference, having a boundary and saying no to one thing and inviting a yes to something else can really help when we are feeling in a doubtful mood, trying to break that cycle, and actually saying ‘I don’t want that, I want something different’. This really introduces a new way of thinking. A new idea, and it may be just a small thing.

The next best thing

This is introduces the next step which is the ‘next best thing’, now sometimes in life we find that this is something as simple as brushing our teeth, as having a wash, as putting on our mascara, or putting on your game face for the day. Doing the next best thing, however, may be making a really big decision, but sometimes the next best thing to do before you make that big decision is just a really small thing.

Like making a choice for our health; I will drink one less glass of wine, I’m going to have one less chocolate bar, or I am going to take one more walk to a place I like, even if its with people I feel I don’t necessarily want to be around, I am making a choice to go outside and be in the fresh air. This can also introduce a certainty. A certainty of knowing this is good for my body, I know that choosing this behaviour is right for me at this time. Hopefully then, you will feel more empowered, and less doubtful about the bigger decisions.

How can Therapy help?

Now this doesn’t come easily, we do know that it’s super important to connect our mind, our body and our emotions together. We also know that within six months of therapy 75% of people find it helpful, however, my success rate is 100%! I have found that the people that I have worked with over the past-nearly- 20 years, have found the counselling and psychotherapy work that I have done will, without a doubt, get results, and that is within any area of life that they come to me with. The idea is that it’s a Tailor- made approach. You can find useful hints and tips across my social media platforms, but the most important thing is if you can get that Tailor-made approach. Where we can work together to find a way for you to have that unique personalised approach to your doubt, your anxieties, to your life! We can build up the puzzle of what you would like your desires to be like. To get more Joy for you in your life. 

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